Know Your Weed Etiquette Current mood: relaxed Chapter 1 - Weed Etiquette De-seed Your Weed If you ever hear a "pop" while smoking a bowl, someone has packed a seed. Packing a seed is a surefire way to expose yourself as a novice pot smoker. The smoke from a burning seed, if inhaled, can cause a throbbing headache and absolutely ruin your high. Don't take chances; de-seed your buds completely before smoking them. It's a good idea to maintain a de-seeded stash. That way, you can reach into the seedless sack and load bowls without worry. Better yet, smoke seedless bud. Quality Weed There are many ways to differentiate between "kind bud" (excellent quality weed) and "dirt" (poor quality weed). Being able to quickly tell them apart is essential in proving yourself to be a stylish pot smoker. Listed below are four distinguishing traits of kind bud: 1) Smell. Great weed can have a wide variety of smells. The scent of pine trees and skunks, for example, are both common indicators of good pot. However, if the weed smells very pungent and "grassy," it may have been picked prematurely. (When a marijuana plant is harvested before reaching maturity, it often lacks the potency of a fully-grown plant.) 2) Look. A good bag of weed usually consists of medium to large buds with little or no stems. Kind buds may also have a crystalline quality that creates a "sparkle" under direct light. These buds will often be bright green with orange, red, or purple hairs. If the weed is brown, turn it down. 3) Feel. Quality weed is usually soft, light, and sticky to the touch. 4) "High." Finally, you can always tell a fine weed by the "high" you achieve after testing a sample. Great weed should inspire you creatively without that heavy "burnt-out" feeling sometimes associated with lesser quality marijuana. Keep in mind that these are only guidelines and not concrete rules. It's possible (although unusual) to find dirt weed that smells, looks, and feels great. Occasionally, a less knowledgeable pot smoker may be fooled. However, if the pot doesn't deliver the "high" of kind bud, it's not kind bud. Too Dry If you allow your weed to remain unprotected for long (exposed to air, heat, and light), it will become dry and brittle. When dry, your bud will burn too fast and the hits will be harsh. To keep your weed in prime condition, place your "stash" (supply of marijuana) in an airtight container or a plastic bag. However, even when you're careful, your buds can loose a little moisture. So, if you notice your weed is getting too dry, add a sliver of orange or lemon peel to your bag, and seal it up tight for a few hours. The weed will sap the water from the rind and become re-hydrated. (Be careful not to leave the peel in for too long, as it could mold and ruin your weed.) Too Wet A less common, but more troublesome problem is wet weed. If you try to smoke weed that is too wet, the bud will burn slowly and won't stay lit. (This kind of saturated condition usually occurs when you don't give your homegrown enough time to dry.) Here are a few options to help you adjust the moisture: 1) Leave the container open. If you aren't afraid of getting caught with your weed, simply leave your container open, exposed to air, heat and light. (Leaving your weed exposed to the elements can ruin the quality of the bud, so be careful not to leave it out longer than necessary.) 2) Add paper. When you need to keep the weed hidden, add a finger-sized piece of paper to your stash. The paper will absorb some of the moisture from the buds. Then, remove the paper from the bag when you think the weed is ready to smoke. If the weed remains wet, continue to add paper (one piece at a time) until you reach the desired level of moisture. 3) Wood containers. Placing your weed in a tightly sealed wood container will allow the pot to dry at a slow and steady pace. Sandwich Bags 1) Small amounts. Sandwich bags are the most frequently used containers for holding small amounts of weed. The sandwich bags of choice are the simple, non-zipping, pleated, plastic baggies found at all major grocery stores. This type of container will hold anywhere from an 1/8th to 4/8ths of an ounce. Before rolling the baggie for storage, the weed should be equally distributed along the bottom of the bag. Then, the bag can be rolled toward the top (rather like rolling a joint) until there is a 1 inch flap exposed. Finally, lick the flap and seal the baggie until further use. 2) Large amounts. For large amounts of weed, it is often easier to use a medium to large, zipping, plastic bag. These are often sold as "freezer bags" and work very well for quantities of weed larger than an ounce. Chapter 2 - Pipe Etiquette Building a Pipe Are you having trouble finding the ultimate pipe to meet your smoking needs? Well, if you can't find it, build it. Most shops that sell metal pipes also have a box or two of separate pipe pieces for sale. But before you go inventing some useless creation, here are a few helpful hints: 1) Don't make your pipe too short. A pipe that is too short is called a "lip burner." And for good reason. When "sparking" (igniting) the bowl of a small pipe, the lighter comes too close to your face. (If the flame gets too close, you can say goodbye to your eyelashes.) Also, with a shorter pipe, your hits will be more brutal, because the smoke doesn't have time to cool down before entering your lungs. 2) Don't make your pipe too long. When a pipe is too long, it's hard to carry around. If you need to hide it quickly, your pipe should fit in your pocket. 3) Choosing an elbow joint. Another thing to consider is a flat elbow joint A flat elbow will give your pipe a nice stable surface on which to sit. With a round elbow joint, your pipe is more likely to tip over and spill the bud. 4) Choosing a bowl. When choosing a bowl, think about the number of people who will be sharing your pipe. For larger groups, you'll want to use a bigger bowl. 5) Building with a chamber. If you build your pipe with a long chamber, it can be used to "resonate" your weed. But keep in mind: it may become harder to hit the pipe once the chamber-weed is resonated. 6) Make your pipe airtight. should be used at any point where you have metal to metal contact. These small rubber rings help to create an airtight seal between the pieces. 7) Your pipe must have style. You can standout from the crowd by owning the pipe that everybody wants to smoke from. Buy the best pieces you can find and create a unique, yet functional, smoking device. Clean Your Pipe Make sure to clean your pipe on a regular basis. Every so often, give your pipe a bath in rubbing alcohol or some other cleansing solution, such as those sold in "head shops" (marijuana paraphernalia stores). To achieve the best results, disassemble every piece and then let each soak overnight. (Soaking will allow the solvent enough time to loosen the resin.) Then, after soaking, clean the piece as best you can, paying special detail to the mouthpiece and elbow joint. After you have finished cleaning, rinse off the pieces and put them back together. Once again, you can enjoy a superior hit from your clean-ass pipe. Extra Screens One way to keep your pipe smoking great is to change the screens on a regular basis. Screens always seem to develop small holes that let ash through the pipe and into your mouth. Also, replacing the screens frequently will save you time in the long run, because you will not have to clean the entire pipe as often. It's not a good idea, however, to use a screen from your faucet or screen door. Both are more costly and more difficult to replace than genuine pipe screens. Next time you're in a head shop, buy a dozen or so extra screens. That way, you can replace them when necessary. Nipple First Do you remember when your kindergarten teacher taught you to hand the scissors "handle side out?" Good, because when you're having a session with your buddies, the pipe's bowl can get extremely hot. Of course, there aren't any handles on a pipe, so it has become common practice to pass it "nipple first." Simply stated - hand the pipe with the mouthpiece facing the next smoker, even when the bowl isn't hot. Glass Pipes Glass is another option to consider when looking for the perfect pipe. Listed below are several advantages and disadvantages to owning a glass pipe. Disadvantages of a glass pipe: 1) Cost. Glass pipes are more expensive than metal pipes. 2) Breakable. While most glass pipes can take a knock or two, they will shatter if dropped hard enough. 3) Replacement parts. Glass pipes are one solid piece of glass. If you chip the pipe, you have to buy a new one. 4) Harder to clean. Because you can't take a glass pipe apart, they are often harder to clean the metal pipes. Advantages of a glass pipe: 1) Heat. Glass pipes don't heat up like metal pipes. 2) Smoke. You can watch the smoke as it fills the chamber. 3) Taste. Marijuana smoke tastes better from a glass pipe. (Just as beer tastes better from a bottle than from a can.) 4) Color. Many glass pipes become richer in color with extended use. Cornering If you're offered the "green hit" (first hit), take it, but don't light the entire bowl. You can take a nice hit and still leave most of the green intact. This is called "cornering the bowl." Hold the lighter at the end of the bowl and suck the flame towards one corner of the weed. If the bowl is packed, there should be enough green for three or four people. (This tip is most appreciated with smoking expensive marijuana.) Vaporizers Vaporizers work by heating your marijuana to the exact "vaporizing" temperature of the active chemicals. The THC (tetrahydrocannabinol) and cannabinoid's (like CBN) will actually vaporize into a thin mist. After this "mist" is vaporized, the active chemicals are captured in a small glass chamber and are ready to be inhaled. Chapter 3 - Bong Etiquette Water Pipe If you haven't ever purchased a bong, listen carefully: bongs are illegal! What head shops carry are called "water pipes," or sometimes, "incense burners." Use the appropriate terminology or you may get the boot. (And don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.) I Didn't Inhale This should come as no surprise to anyone who smokes bud: you shouldn't ever exhale through your bong. If you do exhale into your bong, you're going to end up with wet weed and pissed off friends. This may sound silly, but novice pot smokers do this all the time. If you need a breather during your hit, either cover the top of the chamber with the palm of your hand (to keep in the smoke), or breathe through your nose. Carbs A "carb" prevents or permits outside air pressure into the chamber of your bong while simultaneously pushing the smoke into your lungs. On most glass bongs, the carb function is usually performed by removing the bowl (which is attached to the stem) to expose the opening to the chamber. With Plexiglas or plastic bongs, a hole is usually drilled into the chamber of the bong itself. The "correct" way to use a carb is as follows: 1) Fill the chamber. Fill the chamber with as much smoke as you think you can inhale. 2) Take a breather. Catch your breath before you take your hit making sure to keep the carb covered. 3) Take the hit. Let go of the carb and suck the smoke into your lungs in one smooth hit...coughing is acceptable on occasion. If you do not finish your "load" in one hit, make sure to clear the chamber of "stale" smoke before you pass the bong. Most advanced smokers will fill the chamber beyond its capacity to hold smoke. They will then exhale the extra smoke and take in the chamber-smoke on their next inhalation. Water Level Make sure your bong is filled (with water) to the appropriate level before you let anybody smoke from it. If the chamber is too full, you're going to get bong water on your lips every time you take a hit. (Bong water tastes nasty!) Also, when you fill the bong too high, you run the risk of having water rise up the stem and soak your weed. Not enough water is also a problem. The water's surface should be at least one inch above the bottom of the stem. When the water level is too low, the smoke will not be cooled or filtered properly. Both of these conditions are cause for harsher hits. Change Your Water Don't let your bong water get too polluted. When the water gets murky, it begins to stink, and will negatively alter the taste of your bud. Also, if you keep the water fresh, you won't have to clean your bong as often. If you own a small bong, you may want to change the water after every session. For larger bongs, once every month or two should be fine. Bowl Size When you are packing the bowls for a "session" (two or more people gathered for the purpose of getting high), be mindful of how much weed to load for each person. Here are some things to consider: 1) How much does this person normally smoke? You don't want to pack more than somebody can "snap" (finish completely) in 2 or 3 hits. 2) Is it good weed or dirt? If the weed is really good, you're not going to need much to get you high. 3) How many people are waiting for their turn? You may want to pack smaller bowls if the bong is taking too long to get around the circle. 4) How much weed is left, and how long does it need to last? If you're running low on weed, or your weed has to last for a while, don't pack huge bowls. 5) Is this weed from someone else's stash? If you're loading weed from someone else's bag, don't take the largest buds. ..1 Party Foul I hope you're paying attention, because this is very important: unless you enjoy looking like a fool and a loser, don't ever knock a bong over! This may sound harsh, but it's a most heinous party foul to spill, or worse, shatter a bong. The spilt water can stink up a place for hours, even days. Furthermore, bong water may stain if spilled on carpet. I can only suggest that, no matter how high you get, you keep an eye out for any bong that might be underfoot. Finish Your Bong Load When smoking from a bong, make sure to "snap" (finish completely) your bong load. This includes the smoke in the chamber, and the ash in the bowl. When done correctly, you will hear a "snap" as the last of the ash is sucked from the bowl into the chamber. Usually, this can be accomplished with lungpower alone, but keep a "poker" (any device used to clear a smoking utensil of ash and resin) handy just in case. (See "making a poker") Exceptions to this rule can be made for deep glass or metal bowls. Bongs of this type may be cornered, as you might with a pipe. However, even in these cases, the last person to get a good hit should snap the bowl. Also, make sure to finish in a timely manner. Some people have the nasty habit of telling long-winded stories when they're holding the bong. What these people don't realize is that others are not interested in their stories, only the bong. So, snap it and pass it. Bubblers Bubblers are a new creation that utilize aspects of both pipes and bongs. Bubblers are usually about the size of a large glass pipe, however they draw smoke into their "bubble" and filter the smoke through water like a bong. If you are in the market for a portable smoking utensil that will hit ultra-smooth, you might want to consider this handy device. Chapter 4 - Joint Etiquette Protect Your Papers There are many advantages to carrying rolling papers, rather than a pipe or bong. They're light, legal, and they come many to a pack. However, papers tend to bend and tear when carried around for any length of time. The answer to this problem is a rolling paper protector. (Yes, these are available.) Place the entire pack of papers inside one of these metal cases, and you're good to go. Paper Cut The tip of a joint is sometimes totally void of marijuana. When this is the case, be sure to either tear or burn the tip off before smoking it. (Of course, if you just use more weed while rolling, you shouldn't have to worry about this problem.) Hole in the Roll Have you ever tried to sip through a straw with a hole in it? This is the same effect you get when your joint has a tear. You can fix a tear by covering it with a small piece of rolling paper, or re-rolling the joint completely. To avoid this situation, break the buds into small pieces and remove all stems. Larger buds burn more slowly, and will cause your joint to burn unevenly. As for stems, they have a tendency to poke through the paper and ruin your joint altogether. It may take an extra minute or two to prepare the weed in this fashion, but it will save you time and frustration down the line. Running Joints Occasionally, even the best-rolled joints will burn too quickly on one side. The solution is simple: saliva. Using the tip of one finger, apply saliva to the side of the joint that's burning too rapidly. This will allow the slower burning side to catch up, and your joint will burn evenly again. If this doesn't work, you can peel the excess paper from the slow burning side, but be careful not to drop the lighted tip, called the "cherry." Eating the Peanut What do you do with a "roach" (the butt of a joint) when it has become too small to hit? Well, in some circles, the person left holding the roach eats it. This is called "eating the peanut." (Note: Never eat the peanut when it is still lit, or when it contains a filter or wire.) If your circle doesn't practice this ritual, there are other options to help you get the most from your joint: 1) Tear the joint apart and load the weed into a pipe. 2) Place the butt-end of the "cherried" (burning) roach into the bowl of your bong. 3) And, as always, there are the trusty roach clips and "alligator" clips. Generation Joints In other circles it is customary to save the roaches from your joints and combine the resonated pot into a new (more potent) joint. If planned correctly, this technique can be repeated endlessly, producing high-potency grandparent joints and even great-grandparent joints. This practice can also be helpful when you're low on funds. For instance, if your stash were to run out in the middle of a money crisis, you would still have this super-potent joint leftover to hold you until payday. You probably have a lighter or two that you didn't pay for. In fact, you may have half a dozen lighters that you've stolen from friends. There's nothing wrong with this act of theft, provided you follow a couple of simple rules: 1) Don't take a lighter that was not handed to you. 2) If the person asks you for it, give it back. 3) If it's an expensive, unique, or meaningful lighter, don't take it. Childproof Lighters During a session, it's critical to use a lighter that lacks a child-safety device. If you don't own a lighter without a safety device, be sure to de-childproof the lighter you have. Most stoners are strict on this rule, because it makes even the most stylish smokers look foolish, when they can't figure out the safety me